Academia can be amazing, except when it isn’t.

Academia sometimes seems like the best of all possible careers, and for some, it is. Their research is fun, exciting, and well-regarded, their teaching inspires the next generation of thinkers, attracting funding to keep operations going can be reasonably well guaranteed, and they enjoy a high level of professional esteem. It is the intellectual’s dream, everything a life of the mind should be.

We can all glimpse the outlines of this kind of career, no matter how distant from our present circumstances it might be. We sense what academia can and probably should be, and many of us work hard – very hard – to try to make that dream come true, or at least keep it alive.

It is, without doubt, a genuine love affair. Almost all scientists can recall some kind of moment when they first became enchanted at what science is and what it offers, and as we mature, many of us enter into increasingly long-term commitments with the world of academic science. 

We have relationships with our careers, just as we have relationships with people, and if you’ve onto a good thing, then thank your lucky stars and hold onto it for all it’s worth. It’s what we all dream of, what all of us wish for. 

Spare a thought too for those who haven’t been as lucky as you. In romance, we all know that finding true love is a matter of good fortune, and if someone finds true love, it’s only a fool that doesn’t say they’ve been lucky. 

Luck is also required in academia, but we’re often a bit cagier about openly admitting that. And for those who haven’t been so lucky, sometimes the nature of the relationship can change for the worse.

It’s normal for any relationship – personal or professional – to have its ups and downs, but when the ups are fleeting and the downs last a long time, you have to question how healthy the relationship itself is. Worse, when the relationship begins to take a toll on your mental and maybe even physical health, it’s a clear sign that you should be stepping back and considering your position before things get worse.

If you saw a friend who was being treated badly in a relationship, taken for granted, having promises broken, kept needy, who was stressed and unhappy most of the time but who insisted that it was ok, that they knew their partner wasn’t always great but the good times made it worthwhile, you’d tell them to break up and move on.

We almost universally accept such arguments in our personal relationships, but are strangely coy about applying the same logic to our workplaces or careers. Instead, people will often simply accept that their professional life is going to be largely miserable, and stoically get on with it because they insist that they couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

In other words, those who stay in such circumstances have convinced themselves that they’re unloveable. They believe that they’re too old, too specialised, too unattractive to find a position elsewhere, and that no other workplace or career path would want them. Sure, they reason, they may be miserable, but it’s the best they can hope for nowadays so they had better not waste time complaining too loudly and should just get on with it. 

It’s the same kind of language that people use when they justify staying in an abusive relationship – I would never find love elsewhere, so I should be grateful for the crumbs of comfort that I get here.

Am I killing the mood? Spoiling the special dinner? Write enough about the dark side of academia and you’ll inevitably get accusations of bitterness, of killing the romance, of trying to make people miserable and think that nobody’s happy and nobody ever will be happy. 

That’s not true. Academia is not all bad, and it’s not all good either (whether it’s currently better than it’s ever been or worse or the same is up for debate). It can be truly amazing if you find the right position, the right department, the right mentors, and the right community, just as it’s amazing when you find the right person to love and be loved by. But it can be terrible if not. 

And for individual scientists, if you’re not being treated well, and you’re not happy – get out. Academia, like love, isn’t easy – but it shouldn’t be abusive either, and there’s no shame in walking out on an abusive relationship. You are lovable. You are not too old, or too specialised, or unattractive, and any workplace that’s making you feel that way isn’t valuing you for the person you are. 

Dedicated to all the (lucky) scientists out there who have found true love.

The story (MySciMoment) of how I fell in love with science is here.